The Last Slice
by Xephyr-Holmes
Summary: Dave never gets the last slice of pizza. It's always his Bro who snatches it at the last second. But he's going to change that, with a cleverly thought out plan, which doesn't exactly go how he wants it to... Yaoi, Male/Male sex, incest, swearing, Bro(Dirk)/Dave, Stridercest, and Bro. Might be some violence, probably not. Rated M for a reason.
1. Mmm, pizza

**Well, hello there! I was getting rather irritated by the lack of Stridercest that I liked, so I decided to write my own.**

**Warning: Bro(Dirk)/Dave, Male/male sex, adult themes, a bit of violence (maybe), pretty graphic sex. Lotsa swearing.**

**THE LAST SLICE**

**Dave is annoyed that his Bro always gets the last slice of pizza, so he decides to do something about it. It doesn't exactly go as planned...**

**~*~Insert witty between-paragraphs comment here~*~**

Bro always got the last slice of pizza.

No matter what. He would eat the second to last slice, and allow you the time to raise the last slice to your mouth, and almost take a bite, but then he would flashstep, and bam, he was eating the last slice of pizza.

Quite honestly, it pissed you off. Well, it wouldn't really piss you off if he just ate it, but the way he just almost but not quite let you eat it was really fucking annoying. You weren't going to stand for it any more. This time, YOU were getting that last damn slice. You had it all carefully planned out, and it was going to work, and you were going to eat the last slice of pizza and feel like a boss.

That was the plan. In retrospect, thinking about it afterwards, it was a stupid plan. Oh well.

**~*~Mmm, pizza~*~**

Alright. Now was the time. Bro was slowly eating the second to last slice, and now was the time to implement your plan. I mean, you weren't going to eat the slice after this, but at least Bro wasn't either. You could feel his eyes on you, despite the dark, ironic anime shades he was wearing, and you weren't going to screw this up. You decided to wait until he had just finished the slice, because that would make it more dramatic or something. Slowly, carefully you lifted up the slice of pizza. Bro's eyes followed it. Slowly, carefully you raised it towards you. Bro just kept watching silently, raising an eyebrow. Slowly, carefully- you pulled open the front of your pants and shoved the slice of pizza in. Bro looked very faintly surprised. _Hell_ to the _yes_, you had won this time, you knew it. You got the last slice of pizza. You had won. Haha, take that, Bro, fuck you, the last slice is mine-

He flashstepped. You barely had time to register that he had pushed you up off the futon, then pulled you back down again, onto something warm, and kind of muscular, and a little too tough to be comfortable. Then you realised.

Oh no.

Oh hell no.

This wasn't happening. Ever. It couldn't be.

You were sitting on Bro's knee. Fuck. And he had reached his left arm around you, to hold you there. And then he reached with his right arm, and-

No. Fuck. Fuck no. Shit. Hell no. This wasn't even fucking happening. His hand was_ in your fucking pants_.

Well, to sum up this situation... Fucking fucked up penis shitting dicks made of crap. You half turned your head to glare at him.  
"Dude. Not cool,' you tried to keep your voice steady, and only just succeeded. His hand was in your pants, for fuck's sake. You had a right to have a shaky voice. Jeez.  
"I still want that slice of pizza," he said, completely calm, as per usual. At least his hand was only just in your pants, it wasn't like he was groping you or anything-

Fuck. You could swear he could read your mind. His hand closed over you, squeezing gently. Fuck. No. That wasn't allowed to feel good. Fucking hell no.  
"Stop feeling me up," you managed to choke out, trying to pretend that you weren't half-hard from your brother groping you.  
"Hm, I can't tell if this is the slice of pizza or not. Give me a second," he said, pulling you further back on his lap. You were slightly freaked out - and kind of really turned on - to feel his hard-on underneath you. This was so wrong, so fucking wrong, and you had no idea why you were getting so hard from your Bro. I mean, he was your Bro, that was something that should never happen, ever, and yet holy fuck his hand felt good. He was stroking along your length now, and you couldn't quite suppress a whimper. Ugh, you felt sick. He was your Bro. He was jerking you off. Really really well.

It didn't take long for you to feel the heat building up in your lower abdomen, you were so fucking close, and it was so good, and then, and_ then_, he fucking let go of you.  
"Bro," you whined, panting hard, your face red. Sure, it was sick for him to have done that in the first place, but to just leave you on the verge like that, that was cruel. He flashstepped away, and you looked up at him. He didn't even have a hard-on any more, apparently. And fucking fuck, he was holding the slice of pizza.

He ate it. Right in front of you, in the slowest, sexiest way that it was possible to eat a slice of pizza. He licked his lips sensually after every bite, making appreciative noises, and considering where that pizza had been, you almost fucking came in your pants, right then. But you didn't, you knew this was a test, and you just sat there, as cool as someone can be after almost coming from their Bro jerking them off. Once he had finished the slice of pizza, he smirked, and ollied the fuck out of the room, still acting completely chill.

Fuck you, Bro.

**~*~THEEND~*~**

**So, what do you think? Should I continue it? Do you like it? Do you hate it? Please review!**

**PLEASE I'M DESPERATE**

**Thanks to Ryhpex for writing the sexy part for me.**


	2. Obligatory shower scene

**Well, hello there! I was getting rather irritated by the lack of Stridercest that I liked, so I decided to write my own.**

**Warning: Bro(Dirk)/Dave, Male/male sex, adult themes, a bit of violence (maybe), pretty graphic sex. Lotsa swearing.**

**THE LAST SLICE**

**Dave is annoyed that his Bro always gets the last slice of pizza, so he decides to do something about it. It doesn't exactly go as planned...**

**Argh I'm really happy by the reviews I received, so I'm making another chapter for you wonderful reviewers. Thank you guys!**

**-Yeah I don't own Homestuck or the Striders. I only own a pair of Bro-gloves and a plot bunny.**

**~*~Insert witty between-paragraphs comment here~*~**

You felt slightly sickened by the thought of what you were about to do. After your Bro had left the room, left you sitting on the couch, completely hard and slightly off-guard, you had gone to the bathroom. To have a completely innocent shower. Yeah, right. You locked the door and quickly undressed, turning the water on as you did so. You quickly stepped in when it was only half warmed up, too impatient to wait any longer. Without a sound, you slumped against the cool plastic wall, finally -_ finally_ - closing your hand over heated flesh.

"Fuck," was the limit of what you allowed yourself to say, very quietly. You quickly shut your mouth and eyes, not letting any more unwanted noises out, as you imagined your Bro's hand stroking you. The rough leather would make it slightly uncomfortable, but that wouldn't matter. Bro would teasingly lick the end, smirking at you as you needily bucked your hips.  
'Losing your cool there, kiddo,' he would say, stroking you faster. You would try to retort with a similarly awesome phrase, but the words would get stuck in your throat as he licked it again. You would get close, so close, and choke out a warning to him, but then he would squeeze you tightly and stop moving, not allowing you to come.  
'Beg me for it,' he would say, raising an eyebrow at you. You would refuse. No way you were going to beg. But he would lick the tip again, and repeat the command, and you would break.

"Fuck, please, Bro, please," you snapped open your eyes when you realised you had said that aloud. Luckily it had been said quietly, so Bro probably hadn't heard, right? You stroked yourself a few more times and came, shuddering violently but not raising your voice above a whimper as you slid to the floor, feeling as though every bone in your body had mysteriously disappeared. For a minute or so you simply sat there, as the realisation finally came to you. You had just had the best damn jacking yourself off in your life, to the thoughts of your brother.

Holy fuck, you were one sick kid.

**~*~Insert witty between-paragraphs comment here~*~**

With a sigh you stood up and washed yourself off, quickly stepping out of the shower and towelling off lazily. You stepped over to the sink, glancing quickly at the two toothbrushes, Bro's shades, tube of toothpaste, and the bottle of mouthwash that were resting there. You frowned. Wait a second. Two toothbrushes, Bro's shades, tube of toothpaste- _holy fuck Bro's shades_. They weren't in here before you had your 'completely innocent' shower. That meant he had been IN THE FUCKING ROOM WHEN YOU WERE JACKING OFF TO THOUGHTS OF HIM. Okay, fuck, fuckfuckfuck, maybe he'd just seen you jerking it, maybe he hadn't seen you begging him to let you come. Yeah, knowing your luck, he had seen and heard that part very clearly. Wait a second. If Bro's shades were in here, that meant that he was walking around, sexy- um. No. Shadesless. That was a word now, it had been decided by the second-in-command of cool. That was you, by the way. Not that you needed to tell yourself that, because you obviously already knew, jeez.

Okay. Think straight. (_You can't think 'straight' after jerking to the thought of your brother_) Shut up, stupid freaking douche-voice in your head. It was Bro's fault anyway, him stroking you like that just because you took the last slice of pizza. God, fuck get out, get out of the bathroom and act like nothing happened. Flawless plan. You quickly pulled your clothes back on, grabbed Bro's shades (if he couldn't get his shades back you might piss him off, which would be amusing) and donned your own. You always felt much better with your completely ironic aviators on, more protected. And when you took them off you felt kind of... Naked. You made your way out of the bathroom and into your own room, deciding it'd probably be best if you simply stayed hidden for a while. Besides, you were kind of tired. So you locked your door, and fell on your bed, hugging Bro's shades close to you. Wait, no, fuck. You quickly chucked them across the room. You could go retrieve them when you woke up.

**~*~Short chapter is short!~*~**

**This is stupid. Bluh. Everyone who reads this, just so you know, I'm not very happy with this chapter. I know it's too short, but it's kind of just to fill in the gap between the proper chapters. Please tell me what you think, I'd even love some wonderful criticism, just so long as you're giving me points to improve on and not just 'Oh this is crap' please.**

**To everyone who reviewed, I'm going to do something very mature and responsible.**

**AFDGSJ I DON'T DESERVE YOUR LOVE DHGD**

**But thanks for the love anyway. I'm already working on the next chapter.**

**Also, thanks goes to Ryhpex for the shower scene.**

**-Xephyr**


	3. Strife, for lack of a better title

**Well, hello there! I was getting rather irritated by the lack of Stridercest that I liked, so I decided to write my own.**

**Warning: Bro(Dirk)/Dave, Male/male sex, adult themes, a bit of violence (maybe), pretty graphic sex. Lotsa swearing.**

**THE LAST SLICE**

**Dave is annoyed that his Bro always gets the last slice of pizza, so he decides to do something about it. It doesn't exactly go as planned...**

**Oh my [Insert expletive of choice here] guys thanks for the reviews. I'm posting another chapter for all you guys cause I wuuuuuuv yooooooooo.**

**-Yeah I don't own Homestuck or the Striders. I only own a pair of Bro-gloves and a plot bunny.**

**~*~This paragraph breaker is stupid BLUH~*~**

When you woke up later in the day, you groggily sat up to check what the time was. Five p.m. Great. For a few seconds you didn't remember why you were sleeping at this time of day, usually you only stayed in your room if something had happened to do with making you want to avoid Bro, and as far as you could remember, nothing of the sort had happened-

Wait, wait.

_Oh_.

Right.

The memory made the heat rise in your cheeks, and you got out of bed reluctantly, slowly. On the bright side, your Bro apparently hadn't been here while you slept, because you could see his glasses across the room, slumped against the wall where you had violently chucked them. You walked over to them, there was no point keeping them from Bro any longer unless you wanted him to get really _really_ fucking pissed off, which would probably lead to a lot of painful strifing. You bent down to pick them up, wondering why they had marker lines or something across them. Your eyes widened as you realised. Oh, fuck. When you had chucked them across the room, they had apparently hit the wall a little bit too hard, and now a fine web of cracks spread over the lenses.

Well, you may as well make funeral arrangements and write a will stating that you were leaving all your possessions to Egderp.

Of course, maybe Bro wouldn't notice. Maybe he's just- fucking hell, what were you thinking. Of course Bro would notice. They were his 'super sugoi anime shades'. You may as well go find him now, and confess. Maybe he'd be less harsh on you if you did that. Just maybe. You groaned and made your way to the door, Bro's shades clutched in your left hand, and you kind of wished you hadn't slept fully clothed. Oh well, if you slept naked Bro probably would have come into your room, and- Nope, no, not thinking of that, ever. You quickly banished the thought from your head. When had your mind become this filthy?!

... Oh, that's right, it was when your Bro jerked you off. You had almost forgotten. Anyway, being sarcastic to yourself aside, you needed to find Bro and apologise so that he didn't kill you. Not that he would actually kill you. Actually, no, he probably would if he wanted to.

**~*~This paragraph breaker is stupid BLUH~*~**

You found him watching TV on the futon, his orange eyes glued to the screen as though he hadn't noticed you entering, which he totally had. Because he always did. Always. You cleared your throat nervously, as though to announce your presence, even though you didn't need to because he had obviously known you were there.  
"Sup, kiddo," he said as a way of greeting, not even glancing away from the TV. For some reason you felt weirdly jealous or something, but then you didn't, because you weren't going to be jealous of the fucking TV for having his attention on it instead of you. Nope. Definitely not. And you also weren't over-thinking this or anything, because that would be stupid.  
"Bro, I kinda broke your shades," you decided it would be best to get this over with. You saw Bro visibly stiffen, and he turned his head slightly to look at you. Maybe this hadn't been the best idea, after all.

You barely saw your Bro as he flashstepped behind you, curling one arm around your waist so you couldn't get away. Oh god, you were completely, utterly fucked, weren't you.  
"Pardon?" Bro's voice came from right beside your ear, but it certainly didn't make you jump slightly or anything. Not at all.  
"I kinda broke your shades," you repeated, swallowing dryly. You knew he was overreacting on purpose, he didn't give a flying rainbow flavoured fuck about his shades, he was just using this as an excuse to fuck with you. His hand closed over the shades and tugged them away from you, and you gave them up without a struggle. Best to just let him have his fun and then get away without dying, you thought.

"Well, let's see. Twenty cracks. Alright then, kiddo," the way he said kiddo made you squirm, he actually sounded pissed off.  
"Strife. Roof. Now," he ordered, flashstepping away from you again, "you're going to be taught a lesson,"

Well. Fuck your life.

**~*~This paragraph breaker is stupid BLUH~*~**

After twenty consecutive strifes in which you got your ass handed to you on a fucking silver platter every time, Bro finally stopped. You were on your knees now, his blade pressed to the back of your neck so you were forced to keep your head bent. This was fucking humiliating. It didn't help that on every opportunity during your strifing Bro had groped you. You weren't even entirely sure if he was fucking with you any more, or if he was actually wanting you like that. Ugh, don't be stupid, he wouldn't. Ever. Stop hoping- uh, dreaming- nope, um, being sick like that. It wasn't as though Bro would ever do something like that, would he. Then again, he made sex puppets. Maybe he would? No, no, don't get your sick little hopes up, he's not a sick douchebag like you are.  
"That was pathetic," you could hear no emotion in his voice, but you knew he was disappointed.  
"You're pathetic," you retorted maturely. Who could blame you, you had been thoroughly groped and beaten up in every fucking strife, and you just wanted to bandage all the cuts and then sleep for a week.  
"No, I'm afraid that you're pathetic. You were on the defensive the whole time. Something on your mind, kid?" he replied calmly. You swallowed a little bit too audibly.  
"Nah, nothing, Bro," you lied, a little too quickly. Bro didn't seem convinced.  
"Uh huh. You know I can always tell when you're lying," he pointed out. You silently cursed. Fuck the strife, fuck yourself, fuck Bro, fuck Bro harder, no, stop, stop thinking about this now. God damn it, you had been silent for too long, Bro was waiting for an answer.  
"That's fantastic, but I don't see how that's relevant right now, seeing as I wasn't lying," you lied again, experimentally shifting your head slightly. You were met with Bro's blade pressing down harder, which forced you to lower your head even more, as though you were grovelling at his feet. Stupid Bro.

"You're lying, lil' man," Bro stated calmly. You huffed slightly and glared at the patch of roof in front of you.  
"Whatever, it's none of your business, so piss off," you snapped, accidentally losing your cool a little bit. Well, to be fair, your stupid Bro kept groping you throughout these strifes, and he had gone hard on you (Oh god not in that way, stupid brain stop thinking of that!) this time, not letting you a moment of reprieve.  
"Dude. What's wrong? I'm not going to let you up until you tell me," for a second, you thought you could almost hear honest concern in Bro's voice. But you instantly dismissed that, Bro didn't have feelings, and if he did sound concerned, it was because he was trying to mess with you. You hoped. You wouldn't be able to stand it if Bro actually cared about your stupid little gay incestuous problems.  
"Then you're going to be here a while," you muttered, glaring even harder at the patch of roof in front of you. For a few seconds there was silence. Then the blade lifted away from your neck.

"Whatever kiddo, if you ever feel like growing a pair of balls and telling me what's wrong, you know where to find me," Bro was disappointed now, and very slightly angry. There wasn't any emotion in his voice but you could tell. You stood up and glared at nothing in particular. Bro watched for a few seconds, but then he flashstepped away, leaving you to make your way downstairs and fix your wounds alone.

Sometimes you hated your life.

**~*~THEEND~*~**

**Only the end of the chapter though. So what do you think? Is it good? PLEASE TELL ME IT'S GOOD D:**

**Argh I worked hard on this one, I hope it's not TOO terrible.**

**And thanks for all the reviews; Reviews = happy Xephyr, happy Xephyr = more chapters.**

**Send my love to the silent hill nurse zombies.**

**Yes.**

**- Xephyr**


	4. Egderp is an Egderp

**Well, hello there! I was getting rather irritated by the lack of Stridercest that I liked, so I decided to write my own.**

**Warning: Bro(Dirk)/Dave, Male/male sex, adult themes, a bit of violence (maybe), pretty graphic sex. Lotsa swearing.**

**THE LAST SLICE**

**Dave is annoyed that his Bro always gets the last slice of pizza, so he decides to do something about it. It doesn't exactly go as planned...**

**Oh my [Insert expletive of choice here] guys thanks for the reviews. I'm posting another chapter for all you guys cause I wuuuuuuv yooooooooo.**

**-Yeah I don't own Homestuck or the Striders. I only own a pair of Bro-gloves and a plot bunny.**

**~*~This paragraph breaker is stupid BLUH~*~**

You slowly made your way downstairs, watching out for Bro, though thankfully you didn't see him. You went to the bathroom to clean and bandage your wounds, but when you opened a cupboard that used to house bandages and plasters etcetera, but all that you found was an oversized smuppet. Okay, Bro, that wasn't cool. Even if you hadn't told him what was wrong, he didn't need to replace your lovely much-needed plasters and shit with a smuppet. You glared at said smuppet. It smiled weirdly back. Fucking smuppets. With a groan you closed the cupboard, and trudged dejectedly to your room. You would avoid Bro, maybe surf the web for a while. However, looked at your computer (Which was already on for some reason), you first checked Pesterchum. Egderp had messaged you.

**~*~Dodo do do dodo dododo subscribe~*~**

- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 17:45 -

EB: hey dave!  
EB: dave are you there?  
EB: dave answer me!  
EB: fine i'll just wait here for you.  
EB: it's rude to leave your pesterchum on if you're not there.  
TG: sup egderp  
EB: why was your pesterchum on if you weren't here?  
TG: dude i didnt leave it like that my computer was off last i checked  
EB: maybe bro did it then?

Fuck. Right. Your Bro might have decided to be extremely funny and turn your computer/Pesterchum on. For what reason, you didn't know.

TG: maybe he did  
EB: oh well whats up?  
TG: just strifing with bro being a fuckin boss you know the usual  
EB: heheh yeah sure.  
TG: whats up with you  
EB: not much i guess... :B  
TG: well then id better  
EB: ...  
EB: you'd better...?  
EB: dave?  
EB: are you there?  
TG: yeah of course i am  
EB: okay...  
EB: so youd better what?  
TG: it doesnt matter  
EB: well okay i guess...  
TG: yeah  
EB: why are you so distracted today?  
TG: i dont want to talk about it  
EB: i'm your best bro!  
TG: dont say the word bro  
EB: oh... what did he do?  
TG: well ill tell you but if you repeat this to anyone youre dead  
TG: no youre worse than dead  
TG: i will also erase you from everyones memory somehow  
EB: um okay?  
TG: well first of all i apparently have a huge incestuous homo crush on bro

You wait for a few minutes, before John finally replies.

EB: you're joking. this is some hilarious strider ironic joke.  
TG: im not joking im being as serious as i can here  
EB: you like your bro...?  
You can practically hear the disbelief and disgust.  
TG: yes as i said huge incestuous homo crush  
EB: um.  
TG: yeah i know you can go ahead and be disgusted whatever  
EB: no no i just... seriously?  
TG: yes seriously

You're starting to regret this.

EB: alright then... do you even know how old he is?  
TG: i know kind what age hes around  
EB: which is...?  
TG: um  
TG: about thirty or so  
EB: so you have a huge incestuous homo crush on your bro who is twice your age?

God dammit. You don't reply for a while, thinking that over.

TG: a little bit less than twice my age actually  
EB: so that's a yes then.  
TG: yeah i guess so  
EB: well then. that's just a little bit... creepy.  
TG: yeah i know but what am i supposed to do about it?  
EB: how am i supposed to know?  
TG: well thanks you helped a lot ill just be going now

- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 18:14 -

**~*~Dodo do do dodo dododo subscribe~*~**

You don't wait for his response, and shut down the computer. Suddenly, you feel a lot less like surfing the web, and a lot more disgusted with yourself. John would probably tell someone now, probably Rose, and then you'd get to deal with her trying to psychoanalyse you. Fan. Fucking. Tastic. With a sigh you debate whether to take Bro up on his offer, and tell him. Yeah, you can imagine that.  
'Bro I have a huge fucking incestuous homo crush on you.' That would go down well. Of course, he already knows, probably, but you're not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing it for certain. With a loud groan you throw yourself onto your bed, completely forgetting that you didn't lock the door.

Maybe another nap will help your wounds heal faster. That's your excuse, although you're really only doing this because you don't want to fucking see Bro ever again after what happened.

Fuck this. Fuck all of this.

**~*~Dodo do do dodo dododo subscribe~*~**

**Chapter four done. I'm so proud of myself!  
*Cries in corner***

**I have no life.**

**Give my love to my iPod.**

**- Xephyr**


	5. Restless

**Well, hello there! I was getting rather irritated by the lack of Stridercest that I liked, so I decided to write my own.**

**Warning: Bro(Dirk)/Dave, Male/male sex, adult themes, a bit of violence (maybe), pretty graphic sex. Lotsa swearing.**

**THE LAST SLICE**

**Dave is annoyed that his Bro always gets the last slice of pizza, so he decides to do something about it. It doesn't exactly go as planned...**

**Yeah, another chapter.**

**WITH YAOI IN IT KIND OF.**

**Play the Last Slice drinking game! Drink every time the word 'you' or any derivative of it is mentioned!**

**(If any of you play that drinking game, you are my hero.)**

**~*~Yes, I ship Stridercest. No, I don't condone actual incest.~*~**

You groaned as you stripped down to your underwear and flopped onto the bed. Closing your eyes seemed extremely easy, and you vaguely wondered why your eyelids were so heavy. That gave you a small panic attack - What if your eyes were crushed under the weight of them?! They were so heavy...

After a few seconds you snapped your eyes open again, as there was a strong hand pinning your wrists above your head. You didn't struggle, for two reasons. 1: The grip was extremely strong, and you knew you couldn't break it. And B: It was Bro. You stared at him confusedly for a few seconds.  
"Bro, what-" you began, only to be muffled extremely effectively by a warm, surprisingly soft mouth closing over your own. Your eyes fluttered shut as you let out a startled, moaning sound. With a flashstep, Bro had removed all of your clothes. You had absolutely NO idea what was happening, but who cares, you were naked, with an equally naked Bro pinning you down. Bro proceeded to lick and suck all the way down your chest, before giving a quick lick to the slit of your achingly hard member. You bucked your hips in response, moaning loudly. Bro chuckled, and with a swift movement, he closed his mouth over your cock. All of the cock. All of it. You practically screamed at the feeling, so good, so good, nothing should be this good. You bucked your hips frantically again as you woke up, rock hard, and confused as to whether you were awake or not.

Then you realised. You had just had the most vivid dream of your life. About your Bro. Sucking you off.  
You sat up shakily, facepalming as you did so. At least you had woken up before you... ruined your sheets. But now there was the problem that you really needed to jerk off. Right. Now. But you couldn't. Not to thoughts of Bro. You had already done that once, no point doing it again. It just made you feel more disgusting. You were disgusting. You shouldn't think about Bro like that. Not ever. With a slightly whimpering noise you slipped out of bed, glancing at the clock to see it was 2 am. You sighed and crept out of your room, and looked at the bathroom door.

You would have to pass Bro's room to get there. Bro, who woke up with the slightest noise. And then if he woke up, he would see you. Sure, it wasn't the first time he had seen you sneak off for a quick wank, and you remember one horribly embarrassing occasion where he had walked into your room while you were in the middle of one, but now it was to the thoughts of Bro. Which made it much worse. As horrible as it would be, you started walking. And, kind of unwillingly, stopped once you were level with Bro's door.

It was half open. You could see, in the dim light, that Bro was fast asleep on his bed. No shades, of course. He apparently hadn't gotten new ones yet. His right arm was splayed across his bed, providing an ideal place to snuggle up to him. His left was resting casually on his stomach. His bare stomach. At least he was wearing underwear. Your breath caught in your throat as you studied him. You so desperately wanted to walk over there, lie down in that perfect space (It was practically _made_ for you, the exact amount of space you'd need to be comfortable) and hug him, and then sleep as long as you could. It was so tempting, but you knew you couldn't. You couldn't. You weren't going to sneak into his bed.

**~*~Yes, I ship Stridercest. No, I don't condone actual incest.~*~**

A couple of seconds later, you were silently creeping over to his bed. Pausing every time he stirred, holding completely still, not even breathing. It was the most tense half-minute of your life. When you reached his bed, you were presented with a more difficult problem. As soon as you so much as touched him, he would wake up, you knew that. If you disturbed the bed too much, he would wake up. If you made a noise, he would wake up. It took about three minutes for you to sneak onto his bed, you guessed. But after those minutes, you were propped up on one elbow, on your side, right next to Bro. But not touching him. You took a deep breath, steadying yourself, and with one fluid movement you lay down. Your shoulder was underneath his arm, and you rested your head and right arm on his chest. In the same instant, the hand previously resting on Bro's stomach closed firmly around your throat, and his other hand gripped your right arm tightly. There were a few seconds of tense silence.

"Dave? What are you doing in my room?" Bro asked, sounding slightly irritated, and a bit tired.  
"I couldn't slee-" you began.  
"Bullshit," Bro interrupted. You tried again.  
"Nightma-"  
"Bullshit," Bro repeated, interrupting you again.  
"... I just am, okay?" you said quietly, hoping he wouldn't kick you out. Bro sighed.  
"... Fine," he said after a few seconds, relaxing his grip. You wondered if he was going to push you off the bed and send you back to your room. But, he simply wrapped his arms around you loosely, tugging you closer. You made sure to keep your crotch away from him though. It would be just a little bit awkward if your hard-on hit his leg.  
"Just this once. Don't make a habit of it," Bro added. You nodded against his chest (his tantalising, impossibly sexy, bare chest) and closed your eyes, not letting him see the slight smile creeping onto your face. You fell asleep before him, so you didn't know that he half-smiled at you and kissed the top of your head. You didn't know when he fell asleep. And you certainly didn't know, in the depths of an unfortunately vivid dream (Guess who was in it! I bet you can't guess.) that you had rolled on top of him, therefore waking him up. You didn't know that he rolled his eyes, feeling how you bucked against his leg, obviously hard. You didn't know that just before he was going to wake you, you groaned loudly, and came. All over his leg. However, you did know that you then woke up, feeling sticky, and not entirely knowing where you were. Then you realised, and your breath stuck in your throat, horrified.

"... Fuck," you said intelligently, disentangling yourself from Bro, and sitting up, holding yourself up with one arm. You quickly threw the blanket back, looking at the obvious mess you had made.  
"Fuck," you repeated, almost as intelligently as the first time.  
"Dave," Bro's voice startled you, as you had thought he was asleep. You quickly turned your head to stare at him, wide eyed, and uncomfortable. You swallowed.  
"S'okay, man. Happens to everyone," he reassured you. You said nothing. Bro rolled his eyes (His exposed eyes, so... naked, without his shades. Great. Now you were thinking of Bro naked. Fantastic.) and sighed.  
"It's cool," he insisted, and you nodded slightly.  
"Yeah. Sorry, Bro," you managed to say, feeling your cheeks burn slightly in embarrassment.  
"Hey, man. You go have a shower. I'll clean this shit up, okay?" Bro said, in a surprising moment of kindness, or pity, or something. You nodded gratefully, muttering a quick thanks before you absconded the fuck out of there faster than you could say "Homosexual". Which, to be fair, you could say pretty damn quickly.

**~*~Yes, I ship Stridercest. No, I don't condone actual incest.~*~**

**This chapter took forever to write. Not for the actual writing, or plot-making, but because it was damn hard to get everything the exact way I wanted it to be. I'm not even completely satisfied with it yet, but I feel like I've kept you waiting too long. I was originally going to have more text than this in this chapter, but now I've split it into two or three parts. The other one or two parts will be coming soon.**

**Okay.**

**I had too much fun writing this chapter.**

**Must.**

**Resist.**

**Urge.**

**To laugh evilly.**

**Kukukukukukukuku... Dammit. Oh well.**

**Hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

**:D**

**Thanks goes to Mr. Ryhpex again for writing the smexeh bit for me.**

**(Also, thanks to everyone who reviews, favourites, follows, etcetera. You guys make me want to keep writing. So much.)**

**(In fact, I might go so far as to say the amount of inspiration you guys give me is...)**

**(Wait for it)**

**(OVER NINE THOUSAND.)**

**(Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go kill myself for making that reference/joke/whatever.)**

**- Xephyr**


	6. Angst ahoy

**Well, hello there! I was getting rather irritated by the lack of Stridercest that I liked, so I decided to write my own.**

**Warning: Bro(Dirk)/Dave, Male/male sex, adult themes, a bit of violence (maybe), pretty graphic sex. Lotsa swearing.**

**THE LAST SLICE**

**Dave is annoyed that his Bro always gets the last slice of pizza, so he decides to do something about it. It doesn't exactly go as planned...**

**This... Why... There's a little bit of angst. Sorry. I'm so sorry.**

**(Not)**

**~*~Who let the angst out? Me, me me, me-me~*~**

After taking a long, yet innocent shower, (It actually WAS innocent this time, the thought of jerking off after COMING ON BRO'S LEG seemed a little bit too wrong, even by your standards) you wiped your boxers with some toilet paper, rinsed them in the sink, and dried them off. Then you repeated that, just to be sure. Finally, you pulled them back on, and considered whether to go back to Bro's room or not. Sure, it'd be less awkward if you went to your own room, but then it'd be best for you to go into Bro's room and thank him again. And apologise again. And then walk, full of shame, back to your room to cry over your stupid body and stupid brain and stupid dream and sexy Bro and stupid hormones and not sexy Bro why did you think that.

With a loud sigh you walked back to Bro's room and looked inside. Bro had obviously used his flashstepping, as there were already new sheets on his bed, and the old ones nowhere to be seen. Bro was lying on his bed, hands under his head, the picture of chill... ness. He looked at you, his calm, orange gaze travelling up and down you before he looked away again. Suddenly, you panicked and looked down, almost certain that he has looked at you like that because you had a- nope, everything was fine, all in perfect order. Phew. You cautiously stepped inside. If Bro had wanted you gone, he would have flashstepped and kept you outside by now. So you carefully took another step.

"If you're going to apologise, thank me, beg for forgiveness, stand there awkwardly, or any other shit like that, then leave now," Bro intoned, studying the ceiling. You went slightly redder.  
"Otherwise, come here," Bro added, patting the space beside him on the bed. You swallowed and walked over, slowly lying down, your gaze flicking to him every other second, in case you were doing something wrong. Bro wasn't even watching you.  
"Now. Dave. You've been acting really weird lately. Tell me what's wrong," Bro said, once you were lying down. He secured an arm around you to hold you in place. You blinked at him, fear and worry rising in you like bile. You quickly shook your head.  
"Ten," Bro yawned. You felt confused. Ten? What did he mean by-  
"Nine," Bro said. Oh. That's what he meant. You swallowed audibly.  
"Eight. ... Seven. ... Six," Bro counted down, slowly. You opened your mouth, closed it, opened it again. No sound came out. You couldn't form words.  
"Five. ... Four. ... Three. ... Two," Bro continued, watching you with the faintest hint of worry on his face. Did he actually care? He couldn't. Bro couldn't care. Bro never cared. Right?  
"One. ..." Bro paused, waiting, but you stayed silent.

**~*~Who let the angst out? Me, me me, me-me~*~**

"Zero. Time's up, kiddo. Tell me," he said finally. You felt tears pricking at your eyes. You couldn't tell him. You couldn't. After about a second, you shook your head, and instantly you were upside down, Bro's hand around one of your ankles, keeping you up. You couldn't help it, you started crying. Bro shifted slightly, and when you looked up at him, he had an expression of mostly-concealed shock on his face. He hesitated, but then gently sat you down on the bed, sitting beside you and hugging you.  
"Dave..." he said quietly, "You can tell me what's wrong. I won't laugh at you, I won't judge you, you can tell me anything, you know that?" he waited, and you shook your head.  
"Can you at least answer my questions? You don't have to talk, just nod or shake your head, okay?" Bro tried, and you hesitated, but slowly nodded.  
"Alright. ... Has it got something to do with your..." he paused, "dream?" you nodded slightly. He had probably figured that out by how embarrassed you looked afterwards. Bastard. Bro stayed silent for about half a minute, which gave you enough time to stop crying. You didn't pull away from the embrace, though, and neither did Bro.

"... Are you gay?" Bro asked, almost tentatively, and you froze. Were you gay? You did think about your brother like that, but no other guys. Then again, you didn't think of any girls like that. Did that mean you were gay? Bro seemed to sense your turmoil, because he quickly added; "It's okay if you are," of course it was okay. Bro brought home guys about once a week, at least. You hadn't seen him bring home a girl for years. You had no doubt that he was about as straight as a rainbow. You nodded slowly, hesitantly. Bro reassuringly rubbed your back.  
"Is that all that's troubling you?" he asked. You shook your head. Bro seemed to think for a while.  
"Was it a guy in your dream?" he asked. You nodded. No point hiding that. It was kind of obvious, anyway.  
"Is the problem... Who it was?" another nod.  
"Was it John?" Bro asked bluntly. You almost laughed. No, oh god, John? You shook your head adamantly. No, heh, good joke Bro, _John_, hahaha...  
"Do I know him?" Bro continued his questioning. You almost whimpered, but you nodded. Bro kept silent for a few seconds, apparently thinking on who he knew that it might be.  
"Who is it?" he asked, after thinking for a while. You said nothing.  
"Just tell me, Dave," Bro said firmly.  
"... You..." you muttered, too quietly for Bro to hear.  
"Pardon? I won't judge you Dave, speak up," he said. You swallowed, and took a few seconds to compose yourself.  
"... You," you repeated, more clearly. Bro went still.  
"Dave. That's not funny," he said, harshly. You cringed.  
"I wasn't joking," you whispered. Bro froze still further, if that was possible, and said nothing. You started crying again, but Bro made no move to comfort you. With a quiet sob you tore yourself away from his grip - he seemed too stunned to stop you - and scrambled out of his bed, almost falling on the floor as you did so, before running full pelt out of the room, and into yours.

You could feel Bro's gaze burning you the whole way there.

**~*~Who let the angst out? Me, me me, me-me~*~**

**I'm... Sorry...**

**DUN WORRY DAVU WE LUV YOU!**

**Also apologies to any PepsiCola/DaveJohn shippers for making Dave laugh at the idea of him and John, I do actually ship that, but for this story there are no yaois between them, sorry.**

**It won't be angst for long, I promise you that there's happy again next chapter.**

**But... it had to be this way.**

**I apologise for any feels that may have been injured in this chapter.**

**Thanks for all the reviews!**

**- Xephyr**


	7. And thus the Happy was reborn

**Well, hello there! I was getting rather irritated by the lack of Stridercest that I liked, so I decided to write my own.**

**Warning: Bro(Dirk)/Dave, Male/male sex, adult themes, a bit of violence (maybe), pretty graphic sex. Lotsa swearing.**

**THE LAST SLICE**

**Dave is annoyed that his Bro always gets the last slice of pizza, so he decides to do something about it. It doesn't exactly go as planned...**

**ANGST!~**

**Gomen.**

**(Not gomen)**

**~*~MY BROKORO IS GOING ALL DIRKY DIRKY~*~**

When you entered your room, you slammed the door behind you, and ran forward to flop face first onto the bed. You let out a choked sob, grabbing a pillow and attempting to smother yourself. It wasn't fair- why did you tell him? Why did you think, even for a second, he might accept you? He was your Bro, he would never feel that way for you. You were so stupid. So, so, so stupid. You mentally punched yourself. Hard. In the gut.

You didn't realise how much you were crying until you raised your head slightly and saw a large damp spot on your pillow, and the tears still falling from the tip of your nose onto it. You rolled onto your back, choking back a sob, and then almost fucking screamed as Bro's face was _right in front of you_. Well, shit.  
"Fuck off," you snarled, angrily wiping your eyes. Bro didn't move, so you tried to kick him where it hurts. He stopped your leg with his hand, then casually sat on the edge of the bed. You turned your head away, silently 'stupid stupid stupid _stupid_," over and over to yourself.  
"You ran away before I could talk. That's rude, kiddo. So unironic," Bro said calmly. You said nothing.  
"Listen, I was just... I was thinking about some shit. You know, I was... thinking, I can't, you know, _be_ with you. It's wrong. It's... Pretty messed up," Bro continued. You set your jaw tightly, trying not to cry any more. You failed a little bit.  
"And then I was thinking, well, our relationship is pretty fucked up already..." Bro looked at you very deliberately and your heart stopped.  
"Uh-huh," you managed to choke out, "so that means...?"  
"Well. I can try to be with you. See if it works? Fuck what society thinks, I already took photos of you while you were sleeping naked for plushrump," the smile that had been edging on to your face while Bro spoke disappeared suddenly.  
"You fucking _didn't_," you said. Bro smirked.  
"Of course I didn't, I was kidding," he assured you. You wondered if he was actually telling the truth this time, or if he actually had taken photos of you... You decided to disregard this.

Bro had agreed to try being with you.

You couldn't help it if you were grinning like a dork at this point.

"No grinning. It's uncool," Bro corrected you, and you stopped, settling for a slight smile instead. Bro smirked back.  
"So uh, what now?" you asked, wiping your eyes again, with more effect this time.  
"Well. TV and pizza?" Bro suggested.  
"It's a date," you said. Ironically.  
"Love you babe," Bro replied. Even more ironically.

**~*~MY BROKORO IS GOING ALL DIRKY DIRKY~*~**

You ended up watching My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic together, of course. The pizza which Bro had ordered had been instantly nuked; making it burn every time you tried to touch it. Bro naturally disregarded this, picking up a piece immediately and shoving it into your face. You retaliated, ignoring the pain. Your honor was at stake here.

It turned into an all out war, Bro shoving the pizza toward you, you trying to either dodge or eat it, and vice versa. Luckily both you and Bro managed to eat enough to sustain yourselves before all of the pizza ran out. Then you turned to watch MLP again, but you had to both roll on the floor for a bit as you noticed that somehow a piece of pizza had gotten stuck to the TV. Somehow. It was nice. It was normal, or at least as normal as things got with you. It was comfortable. Once the TV=pizza incident was cleared up, you settled back and watched it idly. At one point you carefully shifted so you were right next to Bro, and when he then put his arm around you, you could practically feel your heart miss a beat. Which was a little embarrassing, but who cared, because it was Bro.

You fell asleep there comfortably.

**~*~MY BROKORO IS GOING ALL DIRKY DIRKY~*~**

When you woke up, you were in your bed. It took you a moment to realise that Bro must have carried you there, and another moment to realise that it was actually Bro's bed.

And then another moment to realise Bro was lying next to you.

And then another moment for your mind to process this, your... lower areas to pick up on this, and respond enthusiastically.

At least Bro wasn't awake.  
"Oh, you woke up," came Bro's voice, and fuck your life. You rolled onto your side before him, thanking the invention of blankets that helpfully covered any suspicious lumps.  
"Mm-hmm," you yawned, blinking a few times to hold back the wateriness in your eyes that always fucking happened when you yawned. Bro smirked.  
"Slept well, your highness?" he asked.  
"Of, most definitely, kind sir," you replied. Bro nodded, taking off his shades in a sweeping manner, staring deep into your shadesless eyes. You briefly wondered were they were.  
"Oh, your eyes are the most beautiful shade of creepy red," he whispered.  
"Oh, sir, you flatter me so! I think mayhaps I shall swoon," you fluttered your eyelashes.  
"I think I know how I might be able to stop that," Bro looked directly at you, a smirk pulling at the edge of his mouth. Your breath caught in your throat.  
"What might that be then?" you asked. In a flash, Bro had you pinned down, mercilessly tickling you.

_So close._

**~*~MY BROKORO IS GOING ALL DIRKY DIRKY~*~**

**Sorry for making you wait so long! Writer's block had me trapped in it's tight, creepy grip!**

**Here you go, then...**

**:3**

**- Xephyr**


	8. Evil plans

**Well, hello there! I was getting rather irritated by the lack of Stridercest that I liked, so I decided to write my own.**

**Warning: Bro(Dirk)/Dave, Male/male sex, adult themes, a bit of violence (maybe), pretty graphic sex. Lotsa swearing.  
(Also Dave is underage I guess :P)**

**THE LAST SLICE**

**Dave is annoyed that his Bro always gets the last slice of pizza, so he decides to do something about it. It doesn't exactly go as planned...**

**throws chapter at you and absconds**

**This chapter is alternately titled;**

**'In which Dave is stupid and has a severe case of blue balls and Bro is careful because for some reason he believes that having sex with his under age brother is a bad thing ha ha silly Bro.'  
'And then they have sex.'  
'Almost.'**

**~*~Sexual frustration!~*~**

It had been about a week since Bro had agreed to try being with you. You were starting to doubt this.  
You think, maybe, he was only saying that to make you feel better.  
You think perhaps he said that he would be with you to pacify you.  
Because you had a terrible case of blue balls.

All that had changed since his agreement was that you would sleep in his room every other night, and he would occasionally kiss you. Not actual kissing, but just sort of quick kisses, on your cheek or forehead or some shit. As a growing, hormonal boy, you found this endlessly frustrating, and you were currently devising a plan to get some makeouts and possibly a bit more than that.

Bro was going to a gig tonight. That basically meant, usually, he would get hammered and take a chick - or more often a guy - home and screw them into the futon while you tried to block out the noise with your head under your pillow. However, before you left, you questioned him about this, and he promised not to bring someone home.  
"Don't be stupid, lil' man," he chuckled. "In a relationship means no screwing other people, you should know this."  
"Yeah," you said a bit quietly, feeling a bit conflicted. He said he was in a relationship with you, and that made you feel kind of really fucking happy, but he hadn't done anything with you, not even a shitty makeout.  
However, he would probably, as per usual, get hammered at his gig, and come home drunk (and horny). However, this time he'd have no-one to screw - except you.  
You were a pretty sick kid, but you didn't really care, because your dick demanded lots of either masturbation or sex. And thus far you had had to deal with masturbation, especially in the mornings when you woke up in Bro's bed, because sleeping next to him made you hella horny. Not that you cared.

You made sure to have a nice two-hour nap (On Bro's bed) after Bro left, because you didn't want to fall asleep while waiting up for him. After your nap, you went out to the living room, and surfed channels for a while.

Nothing was on. Nothing was ever on.

After about ten minutes of this you gave up and went to fuck with people over the internet. There was this one forum which you went on quite often, because there was some raging kid on there who always yelled at you for no apparent reason, and you found it funny. He also had very inventive names, like 'bulge licker' and 'asshat'. It was really quite amusing. Today, he raged at you for quite a while, and you managed to kill maybe an hour on there before he ragequit and you shut down your computer to go do something else. You were quite content to watch shitty tv for a while, having amused yourself enough to not really care.

Unfortunately, you fell asleep after a while, unable to keep awake while lying down, being warm and comfortable, and watching shitty tv.

When you woke up, it was to the sound of the door. Bro was home, and you were only just waking up. You quickly rubbed your eyes, blinking a few times, and sitting up casually, just in time. Bro walked in, looked at you, paused.  
"You should be asleep," he slurred, obviously at least slightly drunk.  
"Nah, I decided to stay up," you replied casually, running one hand through your hair as you gave a sideways glance downwards a little. Yeah, Bro was definitely horny. There was a prominent bulge in his trousers, one that didn't help you in the slightest.  
"Dave," you jumped slightly as Bro's voice came from your other side. Fucking flashstep, dammit.  
"You should have gone to bed, Dave," Bro whisked your shades off, and his own, and you stared into his orange eyes, feeling a tiny bit scared. Bro sounded... Weird. Different.  
The next thing you knew, there was something solid at your back, something round-ish at your throat, and your feet weren't touching the floor. Huh. Bro had picked you up and slammed you against the wall. You suddenly wished that you had gone to sleep.

However, that sentiment didn't last long as Bro pressed his body against you, and roughly pressed his mouth to yours. Ah- Fucking- yes.

Oh yes.

This was exactly what you had wanted. You kissed back as well as you could, but there wasn't much leverage to be had, considering there was no ground beneath your feet. Bro seemed to realise this, pulling away from you slightly.  
"Wrap your legs around my waist," was all he said before violently reconnecting your mouths. You complied eagerly, letting out a soft sound which you would later deny as he ground against you, rocking your hips together. Oh fuck, that was nice.  
It got even nicer as Bro abandoned your mouth in favor of attacking your neck with sucking and biting, and you tried (and failed) to restrain a whimper as he ground against you once more.

"I think we should move to my room before I start fucking you against the wall," Bro growled matter-of-factly against your neck, and you moaned.  
"Fuck- that might be a good idea, yeah," you agreed, mind hazy with pleasure. Your mind was so foggy that you didn't even care as Bro carried you all the way to his room, marking your neck the whole time.

Brilliant plan you had there, Dave.

**~*~Sexual frustration!~*~**

**Cockblocked? I thought so!**

**:D**

**Sorry for taking so long to update, but now I promise I will shit out new chapters like I just ate a lunch of beans, broccoli, and cabbage.**

**Sorry for the mental image there.**

**Now, my lovely readers, it's your time to shine! Tell me, do you want Bro and Dave to FRICK next chapter, or should I just make it the following morning and skip it? Tell me! The majority vote will pass, and if no-one reviews with their vote, then I will be very very evil. :D**

**-Xephyr**


End file.
